SINGLE AND FABULOUS...?/!

Single and Fabulous? Single was fun at twenty, but you wanna ask these women, how fun will all night club hopping be at forty? Filling their lives with an endless parade of decoys and destructions to avoid the painful fact that they're completely alone.
Miranda : Every couple of years, an article like this surfaces as a cautionary tale to scare young women into marriage. That question mark is hostile. I say, fuck them!


I'm pretty sure, everyone who loooved Sex And The City is familiar with this episode. "They Shoot Single People, Don't They" was the title . And this is also the ep where Carrie (in her column) was asking, "Is it better to fake it than be alone?" .... Uh,.. NO?! Hello?!

Like I was telling someone a couple of weeks back, (and I copy pasted this part of my email to him...hehe..katamaran) .."The worst thing about being single and turning 30 soon is that the people around you think that you are to be saved. And no matter how you tell them you're ok, they still think you have got to get married soon. And as much as you enjoy the life you have right now and just wanna brush off their stupid notions about living a single life, you can't help but get annoyed and try to be defensive. And, looking even a little bit defensive would make them think that you really need to be hooked up with someone coz your life is sad. Do man get that too? I thought i won't be affected at all but i'm getting really annoyed lately. And it's not just from my parents, my cousins, my relatives, my friends, even my friend's friends, my co-workers and my patients too. Sheesh, sometimes i think it's me. Why do people think they have an obligation to hook me up with anyone? And i thought single, good guys are a rarety these days? Why do they always have someone in mind? My line 'I don't date' which i've been using since i came here (meaning NYC) i think was useful. But it still doesn't stop them from giving away my number. (That is why i never answer phone calls, even from friends and relatives sometimes) Hay, the agony of being single and turning 30. Sucks."

I'm not saying that I never need men to make me happy, let's face it, intimacy is part of our personality development. As a young adult (according to Erik Erikson), we are in a conflict between Intimacy versus Isolation. Intimacy is the ability to be close to others, as a lover, a friend, and as a participant in society. But, turning 30 and going through and/ or hearing a lot of stories of failed intimate relationships, you should have a clear sense of who you are and you no longer need to fear "losing" yourself or being alone. Just be glad that you have the ability to love, and be loved.

And I (also) am not saying that women are wrong when they make it their raison d'Etre to find a guy and be married at a specific time of their life. It's probably the influence of her family/ immediate environment. And if they think, that it is their main purpose in life, so be it. As long as they live their lives with no regrets and can stay happy. I just hate it when they (meaning the narrow minded, traditional, no-life folks out there) make it look like, it IS every woman's purpose in life.

I remember one of my co-workers, when i first came, wanted to set me up with some guy she knew was a very nice guy and looking for a girlfriend. Never agreed to date him. Up to this day, she still insists on setting me up for a date with him. Only difference now is, she's setting me up with him..and some more testosterone filled humans. One time she told me...'What do you think you're doing with your life? Why aren't you dating? Are you too proud of yourself that you think you never met somebody that deserves you? Do you wanna rot(or maybe she meant rut) and die without a man? You are a very lonely person.' And i just looked at her and laughed. I think she got my point. It doesn't matter to me, and i don't care what she says. Hehe.

The first thing my patients(at least the alert and oriented ones) ask me when i go to their rooms and introduce myself as their nurse for the night is, 'how old are you?'. Then followed by, 'Are you married?'...But of course, "Why Not?' is next in line. *sigh*. Like i'm expected to explain to them my reasons and tell the story of my life. And much to my annoyance, , some would even continue with, 'Do You Have A Boyfriend?'. Ugh. (Or maybe i'm just pissed 'coz i don't actually have an answer for that, harhar)

Anyways, i don't feel the need to tell everybody that I'm happy, single and fabulous. (Not physically fabulous {eeps! i wish}, but having a fabulous life is what i mean) But since this is my blog, i just want to tell everybody reading this (maybe at least one or two) that i am...with an exclamation point!

I'm living alone in NYC, paying my own bills, helping my folks, helping other people, have a stable job, can still enjoy shopping without fear of getting really really broke by the end of the month ...i can still eat my favorite ice creams and chocolates...and i can still afford and enjoy staying in bed for a week just watching TV, i say, I am single, fabulous, and happy!

(Ok, i know. That shouldn't be my only gauge on being happy and content, but for now, i think it's enough. I know i need more time to mature and be more responsible and be happy on a higher level, but hey, it's not the case in point. Haha.)


Carrie: "As for me, i decided, instead of running away from the idea of life alone, i better sit down and take that fear to lunch. So, i sat there, and had a glass of wine, alone, no books, no man, no friends, no armour, no faking."

And if the cross-questioning ends with ' Are You Happy?'...I'd say, "Abso-fuckin-lutely!"

Mwah!